"A wedding is a day...a marriage is a lifetime". Lifelong marriage requires preparation and sustenance. Because marriage is both vocation and sacrament, preparation involves a process of faith development and a new understanding of God's vision for marriage and family life. The relationship between husband and wife is of primary importance; thus, skills training in such areas as communication and conflict resolution is also a key component of this process. The year-long preparation period for marriage is designed to integrate sacramental preparation with relationship and life skills training. The aim of the preparation is to provide newly-married couples with the tools they need to meet the daily challenges of holy family life. In addition, becoming an active part of their parish, receiving the support of their faith community, and being open to God's graces will sustain couples in their lifelong marriage journey.
By 6 Months Before Wedding
- Attend the required Marriage Preparation workshop
- Set up additional formational sessions with pastoral minister if needed
- Attend an Information Evening on Fertility Planning
- Begin a class series on Natural Family Planning.
Stage III- Pastoral Sessions, Wedding Liturgy & Beyond
By 3 Months Before Wedding
- Meet again with priest or deacon to discuss marriage preparation workshop and final details of marriage preparation process
- Begin planning for wedding liturgy.
- Receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation (if Catholic).
Post-Wedding
- Become an active member of your local parish and share in many marriage enrichment opportunities.
Church Documents Needed
You should be prepared to present the following documents to your parish priest or deacon during your sessions:
- Certificate of Baptism: a recently issued copy dated no earlier than 6 months prior to the wedding date with a raised seal.
- Certificate of First Communion
- Certificate of Confirmation
- A letter of testimony, indicating one’s freedom to marry, may be requested by the priest/deacon or pastoral minister.
- A Pre-Cana, Engaged Encounter Certificate or valid completion of a marriage formation program.
- If a person has been previously married, even if not celebrated before a Catholic priest or deacon, he or she must present an annulment decree or the death certificate of the former spouse, before the priest or deacon can set a wedding date.
Civil Documents Needed - Marriage License
A couple intending to marry in the State of New Jersey must obtain a license from the Registrar of Vital Statistics in the municipality in which the woman resides. If she is a non-resident of New Jersey and the man is a resident of New Jersey, the license must be obtained from the municipality in which he resides. (For marriage license purposes, members of the military are considered residents of the posts at which they are stationed.) A license issued under either of the preceding circumstances is good for use anywhere in New Jersey. If both the bride and groom are non-residents of New Jersey, the license must be obtained from the Registrar of the municipality where the marriage is to be performed and is valid only for use in that municipality. A local registrar will not issue a marriage license sooner than 72 hours after the application for a marriage license has been made, unless ordered to do so via an appropriate court order.
If the marriage is scheduled for a Saturday, the application should be made no later than the preceding Tuesday. Please note that civilly married couples seeking a convalidation (marriage in the Catholic Church) must apply for a remarriage license through the same process.
F.O.C.C.U.S.
Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study
F.O.C.C.U.S. is a self-diagnostic tool designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship. The pre-marital inventory provides each couple and a facilitator with a personalized profile of areas or issues that may need to be addressed. Content covers the range of elements necessary for a successful marriage and opens up a process in which clergy or trained pastoral ministers facilitate discussion between the couple and integration of the new knowledge gained through this experience.
FOCCUS includes questions from a host of critical topic areas:
Life style expectations
Friends and interests
Personality match
Personal issues
It helps identify a couple’s skill development with regard to:
Communication
Problem solving
Insights relative to personal value systems are gained from the questions regarding:
Religion and values
Parenting issues
Extended Family Issues
Sexuality
Financial issues
FOCCUS also incorporates a series of questions for couples who are:
Entering an interfaith marriage
Entering a second marriage
Cohabiting
Couples are encouraged to complete FOCCUS with their pastoral minister before attending the marriage preparation workshop of their choice. With new insight, these couples report having stronger motivation to relate topics under discussion to their relationships.
FOCCUS can be administered by the witnessing clergy or by lay marriage ministers who have attended a special training workshop (Contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life at (609) 406-7400, ext. 5592, for more information.)
Marriage Formation Programs
Pre-Cana Conferences
Pre-Cana conferences provide an experience of listening and group discussions through which a couple communicates and expresses their own feelings about marriage. With the guidance of married couples and a priest or deacon, the couple internalizes certain basic concepts of Christian marriage. Times and locations are listed below, along with contact information for registration. (Certain Pre-Cana workshops require online registration. If help is needed, contact Donna Goodwin, ext. 5592). The cost for all Pre-Cana programs is $100 per couple.
Please note that, while some Pre-Cana programs are completed in one day, others are scheduled in segments over a two or three day period. Couples are required to attend all segments and are expected to participate in the program in its entirety. Click here for a list of events.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice required for program transfers. A $25 processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program. There is a $25 non-refundable processing fee included in the registration fee for cancellations.
Pre-Cana in Spanish
2008 Dates:
January 26 (St. Anthony Claret, Lakewood); April 19 (St. Mary Cathedral, Trenton); July 19 (Holy Trinity, Long Branch); October 18 (St. Mary Cathedral, Trenton)
This Pre-Cana program, presented entirely in the Spanish language, is for those of Hispanic descent and includes a whole support system for the Hispanic community. The registration fee is $100.00. Pre-Cana classes in Spanish are held at Saint Anthony Claret Parish, Lakewood (January 26), Holy Trinity Parish, Long Branch (July 19), and St. Mary Cathedral, Trenton (April 19, October 18), Saturday, 9:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. To register please contact the Hispanic Apostolate Office at St. Joseph Church, 609-394-5757.
Pre-cana en Español
"La Boda es un día, El Matrimonio es para toda la vida"
Las clases de Pre-Cana seràn en día sàbado de 9:00 a.m. a 4:30 p.m. en las siguientes fechas y parroquias:
26 de enero del 2008
San Antonio Claret
780 Ocean Ave.
Lakewood, NJ 08701
19 de abril del 2008
Catedral Santa María
151 N. Warren St.
Trenton, NJ 08608
19 de julio del 2008
Santísima Trindad
408 Prospect St.,
Long Branch, NJ 07740
18 de octobre del 2008
Catedral Santa María
151 N. Warren St.
Trenton, NJ 08608
El programa de Pre-Cana es un instrumento muy útil que ayuda a las parejas en su preparación al matrimonio ofreciéndoles la oportunidad de reflexionar juntos en las diferentes áreas de su vida y en la profundidad del sacramento del matrimonio. Para registrarse por favor llame a la Oficina del Apostolado Hispano en la iglesia San José al 609-394-5757. La registracion es de $100.00 por pareja.
Engaged Encounter
2008 Dates:
February 22-24, March 14-16, May 16-18, June 6-8, October 31 - November 2
Cost: $375.00 per couple
Engaged Encounter is a weekend away for engaged couples to dialog honestly and intensively about their prospective lives together, and their role in the church and society. Areas which are explored include their strengths and weaknesses, their desires, ambitions, goals, and also their attitudes about money, sex, children, and family.
Engaged Encounter is Catholic in origin and orientation and is specifically designed to encourage verbal sharing between the couple. Spiritual and personal reflection, along with couple dialog, are the main highlights of the weekend. All couples will gather together for meals and the celebration of Sunday Mass.
Engaged Encounter weekends are held at Stella Maris Retreat House in Elberon, New Jersey. The Encounter weekend begins on Friday evening at 7:30 p.m. and concludes approximately 4 p.m. on Sunday. The cost is $375.00 per couple, which includes meals and lodging. Reservations are limited. Click here for a list of events.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice required for program transfers. A $25 processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program. There is a $25 non-refundable processing fee included in the registration fee for cancellations.
In-Parish Engaged Encounter
2008 Dates (Saturdays 8:30 am - 9:00 pm; Sundays 8:30 am - 5:00 pm):
May 3-4, St. Aloysius, Jackson
October 4-5, St. Gregory the Great, Neptune
Cost: $175.00 per couple
Catholic In-Parish Engaged Encounter is recognized, both nationally and internationally, as a quality, highly effective marriage preparation program designed to meet the needs of today's engaged couples.
This Encounter experience is Catholic in origin and orientation, and is geared to all couples interested in giving their marriage the best possible start. The in-parish weekend format utilizes a dynamic communication technique based on listening, writing and dialog.
During an intensive two days, each couple is offered the time and opportunity to discuss their strengths, weaknesses, desires, and goals in a private atmosphere free from distractions. In-Parish Engaged Encounter is specifically designed to deepen and enrich a couple's relationship with each other, free from tensions, pressures and interruptions of the world.
The In-Parish weekend begins Saturday at 8:30 a.m. and concludes Sunday at 5:00 p.m. (Couples go home Saturday evening at approximately 9 p.m., and arrive on Sunday morning at 8:30 a.m.). A team of two married couples and a priest facilitate the weekend through their personal sharings on marriage and family issues. The fee for the program is $175 per couple, meals included. For more information, contact Peg Hensler at 609-406-7400, ext. 5556. Register online today. Click here for a list of events. Registration is limited.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice required for program transfers. A $25 processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program. There is a $25 non-refundable processing fee included in the registration fee for cancellations.
God's Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage
(Marriage Preparation Workshop for Engaged Couples)
2008 Dates (Saturdays, 8:30 am to 5:30 pm):
March 1, 2008 - Our Lady of Sorrows-St. Anthony, Mercerville
May 31, 2008 - St. Jerome, West Long Branch
September 20, 2008 - Our Lady of Sorrows-St. Anthony, Mercerville
December 6, 2008 - St. Joseph, Toms River
Cost: $125 per couple
God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage is a new marriage formation workshop for engaged couples which fulfills the marriage preparation requirement. It offers a more complete understanding of God's glorious plan for marriage and human sexuality than perhaps any program available in the Church today. Based on Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body, this program is intended to enhance a key component of marriage preparation: catechesis in the theology of marriage and the gift of human sexuality. This state of the art approach to marriage preparation is also designed to facilitate the couple's insight and self-awareness, and help develop important relational skills.
The God's Plan program provides a full catechesis of the Church's teaching, in an uplifting manner that resonates within the human heart. Engaged couples will learn how their love mirrors Christ's love for the Church, and how entering into the life-giving love of the Trinity through their marriage will bring them the happiness and fulfillment they desire. For more information, contact Donna Goodwin at 609-406-7400, ext. 5592. The fee for the program is $125 per couple. Register online today. Click here for a list of events.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice required for program transfers. A $25 processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program. There is a $25 non-refundable processing fee included in the registration fee for cancellations.
To Trust Again
(Preparation for Remarriage in the Church)
2008 Dates (Saturdays, 9:00 am - 3:30 pm):
April 5, Our Lady of Sorrows-St. Anthony Parish, Hamilton
October 18, Our Lady of Sorrows-St. Anthony Parish, Hamilton
Cost: $100 per couple
This marriage preparation program is designed to meet the pastoral needs of couples in which one or both persons are marrying after the loss of a spouse through death or divorce. The program addresses specific issues these individuals face as they enter into the new relationship. Couples are invited to explore issues between themselves and in small group settings. The registration fee is $100 per couple. To learn more about the program, contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life, at 609-406-7400, ext. 5592. Register online today. Click here for a list of events.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice required for program transfers. A $25 processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program. There is a $25 non-refundable processing fee included in the registration fee for cancellations.
Unitas
Preparing for Sacramental Marriage
Unitas is a form of marriage instruction and preparation that enables the whole ecclesial community to be involved in the preparation for marriage, while providing the intimacy of small Christian community meetings. There are seven sessions and three community rites. Catechetical and Liturgy Planning sessions are provided as needed. Unitas is currently being offered in selected parishes. Contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life, 609-406-7400, ext. 5556 or e-mail phensl@dioceseoftrenton.org.
Natural Family Planning
NFP describes the host of scientific methods of family planning which rely on the natural and observable signs and symptoms of a woman's cycle to determine phases of fertility. NFP programs are presented to couples by experienced teaching couples who use the method they teach. NFP is very reliable if the couple uses it unfailingly, and does not require the regularity of the woman's cycle. NFP helps build physical and mental harmony in marriage. NFP is the only morally acceptable method for planning and spacing children in Catholic marriages. Additionally, NFP can be instrumental in assisting infertile couples to achieve a pregnancy.
Since decisions concerning the family involve both husband and wife, we invite couples to take joint responsibility in child planning. Successful use of the method demands cooperation and contributes to growth in communication, understanding, and respect in the marriage relationship. To learn more about the various methods of natural family planning, contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life, 609-406-7400, ext. 5556, or e-mail phensl@dioceseoftrenton.org, or visit www.njnfp.org.
"Two shall become one...Exploring God's Sacred Gift of Fertility"
INFORMATION EVENINGS FOR FERTILITY PLANNING
At the dawn of creation, God bestowed the original blessing of fertility on humankind: "Be fruitful and multiply". Information Evenings for Fertility Planning are designed to reveal the sacred mysteries of God's gift of fertility. Through a positive, holistic approach, couples will explore the spiritual, psychological, emotional and biological dynamics of married sexuality and co-creation. These sessions are open to all but are especially recommended for engaged and young married couples, and will provide "need to know" information about women's fertility cycles, the husband's role in fertility planning, the truth and beauty of God's plan for human sexuality, and the miracle of procreation.
Each session also includes an introduction to the Creighton Model FertilityCare System and NaproTechnology. This system is based on solid scientific research that teaches the couple to observe and track natural biomarkers that allow them to know when they are fertile and when they are not. NaproTechnology also helps identify and treat infertility, PMS, miscarriage, ovarian cysts, and other problems.
To register for one of the four Information Evening sessions, please click here. For more information, contact Donna Goodwin at 609-406-7400, ext. 5592. There is no fee to attend but pre-registration is required. Engaged couples are asked to attend a session as part of the marriage preparation process. A certificate of completion is given to engaged couples who attend an Information Evening, which may be presented to the priest or pastoral minister preparing you for marriage.
Couple to Couple League/Sympto-Thermal Method
The Sympto-Thermal method of natural family planning (NFP) is an educational program based on scientific knowledge on how to plan or postpone a pregnancy. There are four classes scheduled. Each class is spaced five weeks apart to allow the couple to go through several of the woman's menstrual cycles while learning the method. Classes are taught by married couples who are trained and certified by the Couple to Couple League (CCL).
To learn more about the Couple to Couple League's approach to NFP, visit their website at ccli.org. To register for Couple to Couple League classes for the Sympto-Thermal Method of NFP, please contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life at 609-406-7400, ext. 5592. Information on CCL classes is also available on our website, www.dioceseoftrenton.org/go/nfp.
Creighton Model Method
Creighton model is highly effective in both its method and use as a way to achieve or postpone pregnancy. This method of natural family planning is recognized by the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction. It is a system which asks women to be active participants in the monitoring and maintaining of their own procreative and gynecological health.
Classes in the Creighton model of NFP are offered on a regular basis in the Trenton Diocese by certified FertilityCare System practitioners. These practitioners are also versed in Napro Technology (Natural Procreative Technology) to provide married couples with Church approved alternatives for common fertility problems. To learn more about the Creighton method and Napro Technology, and register for NFP classes, contact Mary McMenaman at 732-449-9177, or Josi Shimkus at 732-361-7345.
Enrichment for Married Couples
Marriage Encounter
Central Jersey
2008 Dates:
February 1-3, April 25-27, July 18-20, November 7-9
Marriage Encounter is a weekend enrichment program designed to help build communication skills between husband and wife. A series of presentations given by married couples and a priest provides meaningful reflection for couples to refocus on their relationship, with private time for discussion away from the distractions of every day life.
For reservations, and additional information please contact Jack and Annarose Parra at 1-888-827-NJME.
For Hispanic Marriage Encounter Weekends please contact Justo and Josefa Figueroa at 609-888-0276.
Southern Jersey (Burlington County)
2007 Dates:
January 25-27, February 22-24, March 28-30, May 16-18, September 19-21, October 17-19, December 5-7
For reservations and additional information, please call Bob and Michelle Dooley at 1-800-688-9963
Bishop's Anniversary Blessing
2008 Dates
Sunday, April 6, 2008, 3:00 p.m., Mercer and Monmouth Counties
Sunday, April 27, 2008, 3:00 p.m., Ocean and Burlington Counties
Held in the Cathedral of St. Mary of the Assumption, Trenton, the Bishop's Anniversary Blessing is an annual para-liturgical celebration to honor married couples in the diocese celebrating their 25th, 50th or over wedding anniversaries during the 2007 calendar year. Bishop Smith confers his Episcopal Blessing upon each couple and presents them with a personalized certificate to commemorate this very special occasion. Registration through your parish is required.
World Marriage Day Brunch
Sunday, February 10, 2008,
12 to 3:00 p.m.
The Breakers Hotel, Spring Lake, NJ
Our diocesan World Marriage Day brunch is held at the Breakers Hotel on the ocean in Spring Lake, and is open to all married couples in the Diocese of Trenton. Since 1982, the second Sunday of February has been set aside by the Worldwide Marriage Encounter organization as a special day each year to honor husbands and wives as head of the family, the basic unit of society. World Marriage Day salutes the beauty of their faithfulness, sacrifice and joy in daily married life.
The World Marriage Day brunch is a gathering of couples from throughout the diocese, to share stories and hear the witness of married couples like themselves, in an elegant and romantic setting. The cost of the brunch is $55 per couple. For more information, contact Peg Hensler at 609-406-7400, ext. 5556 or 5592. To register online, click here for a list of events, and register today! Reservations are limited and must be made in advance.
Marriage Ministry Training
Diocesan Training for Married Pre-Cana Team Couples
2008 Dates:
January 23, Wednesday 7 - 9 pm, Mercer County, St. Ann, Lawrenceville
April 1, Tuesday 7 - 9 pm, Burlington County, St. Joan of Arc, Marlton
July 16, Wednesday 7 - 9 pm, Ocean County, St. Aloysius, Jackson
November 18, Tuesday 7 - 9 pm, Monmouth County, St. Rose, Belmar
Diocesan Pre-Cana Training is a comprehensive training for new and experienced Pre-Cana ministry couples. This training will cover the following areas: evangelization as the foundation of all ministry, small group facilitation techniques, Pre-Cana program management, core requirements of Pre-Cana programs (Vatican and USCCB requirements), how to deal with difficult issues (e.g. NFP, cohabitation), best practices, and witness talk content.
Team couples will learn the latest adult learning techniques and new approaches and formats for presenting Pre-Cana topics. All Pre-Cana ministry couples who have not received prior diocesan training are required to attend a training session. Please contact Donna Goodwin at ext. 5592 for more information. There is no fee to attend but advance registration is required; breakfast and lunch are included. To register online, click here for a list of events, and register today!
FOCCUS TRAINING FOR PASTORAL MINISTERS (Priests, Deacons, Lay Ministers)
2008 Dates:
Tuesday, January 15, 7 to 9 pm, Mercer County, Pastoral Center, Lawrenceville
Thursday, April 10, 7 to 9 pm, Burlington County, Our Lady of Good Counsel, Moorestown
Wednesday, July 9, 7 to 9 pm, Monmouth County, St. Catharine Parish - St. Margaret Church Hall, Spring Lake
Thursday, October 23, 7 to 9 pm, Ocean County, St. Luke Parish, Toms River
This intensive two-hour training session teaches pastoral ministers how to apply the FOCCUS instrument to Facilitate Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study. Through practical, hands-on training, Pastoral Ministers will learn how to use the FOCCUS Facilitator’s Manual to evaluate couple responses to the FOCCUS instrument. Thus, they may identify key areas for discussion and help engaged couples with any areas that require problem-solving. This comprehensive manual provides pastoral ministers with a complete step-by-step approach to preparing for each couple formation session. All training participants receive their own Facilitator’s Manual.
The fee for training is $30 per person, which helps to cover the cost of the manual. To register, call Donna Goodwin at 609-406-7400, ext. 5592, or click here to download a registration form. Payment is required at the time of registration.
Contact Us:
Peg Hensler
Coordinator: Marriage and Family Ministries
Phone: 609-406-7400 ext. 5556
E-mail:
phensl@dioceseoftrenton.org
Office of Family Life/Respect Life
Diocesan Pastoral Center
PO Box 5147
701 Lawrenceville Road
Trenton, NJ 08638-0147
Phone: 609-406-7400
Fax: 609-406-7403
E-mail: family@dioceseoftrenton.org
Director: Linda Richardson
The following timeline is useful to help simplify the details involved in the year-long marriage preparation process. To ensure that each couple married in the Catholic Church receives proper preparation for their future life together, all parishes in the State of New Jersey follow the Pastoral Policies and Guidelines for Marriage Preparation for the Catholic Church in New Jersey.
