There is nothing more beautiful and life-giving than a happy marriage. The benefits of healthy marriage go far beyond husband and wife, extending to their children and other family members, their workplace, their faith community, their wider civic community, and in fact, to all of society. Strong communities are built on successful marriages, and successful marriages begin with thorough preparation and must always have the three essential ingredients of faith, hope and love.
By 6 Months Before Wedding
- Attend the required Marriage Preparation workshop
- Set up additional formational sessions with pastoral minister if needed
- Attend an Information Evening on Fertility Planning
- Begin a class series on Natural Family Planning.
Stage III- Pastoral Sessions, Wedding Liturgy & Beyond
By 3 Months Before Wedding
- Meet again with priest or deacon to discuss marriage preparation workshop and final details of marriage preparation process
- Begin planning for wedding liturgy.
- Receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation (if Catholic).
Post-Wedding
- Become an active member of your local parish and share in many marriage enrichment opportunities.
Church Documents Needed
You should be prepared to present the following documents to your parish priest or deacon during your sessions:
- Certificate of Baptism: a recently issued copy dated no earlier than 6 months prior to the wedding date with a raised seal.
- Certificate of First Communion
- Certificate of Confirmation
- A letter of testimony, indicating one's freedom to marry, may be requested by the priest/deacon or pastoral minister.
- A Pre-Cana, Engaged Encounter Certificate or valid completion of a marriage formation program.
- If a person has been previously married, even if not celebrated before a Catholic priest or deacon, he or she must present an annulment decree or the death certificate of the former spouse, before the priest or deacon can set a wedding date.
Civil Documents Needed - Marriage License
A couple intending to marry in the State of New Jersey must obtain a license from the Registrar of Vital Statistics in the municipality in which the woman resides. If she is a non-resident of New Jersey and the man is a resident of New Jersey, the license must be obtained from the municipality in which he resides. (For marriage license purposes, members of the military are considered residents of the posts at which they are stationed.) A license issued under either of the preceding circumstances is good for use anywhere in New Jersey. If both the bride and groom are non-residents of New Jersey, the license must be obtained from the Registrar of the municipality where the marriage is to be performed and is valid only for use in that municipality. A local registrar will not issue a marriage license sooner than 72 hours after the application for a marriage license has been made, unless ordered to do so via an appropriate court order.
If the marriage is scheduled for a Saturday, the application should be made no later than the preceding Tuesday. Please note that civilly married couples seeking a convalidation (marriage in the Catholic Church) must apply for a remarriage license through the same process.
F.O.C.C.U.S.
Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study
F.O.C.C.U.S. is a self-diagnostic tool designed to help couples learn more about themselves and their unique relationship. The pre-marital inventory provides each couple and a facilitator with a personalized profile of areas or issues that may need to be addressed. Content covers the range of elements necessary for a successful marriage and opens up a process in which clergy or trained pastoral ministers facilitate discussion between the couple and integration of the new knowledge gained through this experience.
Couples are encouraged to complete FOCCUS with their pastoral minister before attending the marriage preparation workshop of their choice. With new insight, these couples report having stronger motivation to relate topics under discussion to their relationships.
FOCCUS can be administered by the witnessing clergy or by lay marriage ministers who have attended a special training workshop.
Contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life at 609.406.7400, ext. 5592, for more information.
FOCCUS TRAINING FOR PASTORAL MINISTERS (Priests, Deacons, Lay Ministers)
All priests, deacons and pastoral ministers who prepare engaged couples for Catholic marriage are encouraged to use the FOCCUS pre-marital inventory as a tool for catechesis and discussion. Formal training through the diocese is required.
NEW SPECIAL TRAINING FOR CURRENT FOCCUS FACILITATORS
(Priests, Deacons, Lay Ministers)
Location: Diocesan Pastoral Center, Lawrenceville, Bishop Ahr Room
2009 Dates (Evening sessions, 7 - 8:00 p.m.)
Wednesday, January 14
Wednesday, April 15
Wednesday, July 1
Thursday, October 15
If you are currently using the FOCCUS pre-marital inventory to help prepare engaged
couples for marriage, plan to attend one of these free special training sessions to learn about new scoring options offered by FOCCUS Inc. in 2009. Each one-hour session includes a hands-on, interactive demonstration for current FOCCUS facilitators on how to set up an online account and how to administer and score the FOCCUS Inventory online. Participants will also be informed about upcoming changes to the FOCCUS Inventory and other traditional scoring options still available through the diocese and FOCCUS Inc.
To register for a free training session, go to www.dioceseoftrenton.org/go/foccus, or call Donna Goodwin at 609. 406.7400, ext. 5592.
Marriage Formation Programs
Pre-Cana Conferences
Pre-Cana conferences provide an experience of listening and group discussions through which a couple communicates and expresses their own feelings about marriage. With the guidance of married couples and a priest or deacon, the couple internalizes certain basic concepts of Christian marriage. Times and locations are listed below, along with contact information for registration. (Certain Pre-Cana workshops require online registration. If help is needed, contact Donna Goodwin, ext. 5592). The cost for all Pre-Cana programs is $100 per couple. (Note: the fee for summer diocesan Pre-Cana conferences is $125 per couple; the fee for God's Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage is $140)
Please be aware that, while some Pre-Cana programs are completed in one day, others are scheduled in segments over a two or three day period. Couples are required to attend all
segments and are expected to participate in the program in its entirety. Click here for a list of events.
Important: If either party has a prior marriage the couple must attend the TO TRUST AGAIN remarriage workshop in lieu of Pre-Cana.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice is required for program transfers. A $25 non-refundable processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program or cancelling.
Pre-Cana in Spanish
"La Boda es un día, El Matrimonio es para toda la vida"
Las clases de Pre-Cana serán en día sábado de 9:00 a.m. a 4:30 p.m. en las siguientes fechas y parroquias:
24 de enero del 2009
San Antonio Claret
780 Ocean Ave.
Lakewood, NJ 08701
18 de abril del 2009
Catedral Santa María
151 N. Warren St.
Trenton, NJ 08608
8 de augusto del 2009
Santísima Trindad
408 Prospect St.,
Long Branch, NJ 07740
14 de novembre del 2009
Catedral Santa María
151 N. Warren St.
Trenton, NJ 08608
El programa de Pre-Cana es un instrumento muy útil que ayuda a las parejas en su preparación al matrimonio ofreciéndoles la oportunidad de reflexionar juntos en las diferentes áreas de su vida y en la profundidad del sacramento del matrimonio. Para registrarse por favor llame a la Oficina del Apostolado Hispano en la iglesia San José al 609-394-5757. La registracion es de $100.00 por pareja.
Family Life Programs/HispanicFamily Life Ministries
Programas de Apoyo Para la Familia/Patoral de Vida Familiar Hispana
Other marriage and family programs offered by the Office of Hispanic Apostolate include marriage preparation for couples seeking convalidation, marriage preparation and family enrichment retreats, and PREP (Prevention andRelationship Enhancement Program).
For details, call the Hispanic Apostolate Office 609.406.7400 ext. 5653 or visit the Hispanic
Apostolate website at www.ahtrenton.com. Rev. René Pulgarin, Coordinator of Hispanic Family Life Ministries, can be reached at 609.924.1743 ext. 110.
Para mayor información, Pastoral De Vida Familiar Hispana, Diócesis de Trenton; puede llamar a la Oficina Apostolado Hispano - 609.406.7400 ext. 5653; o www.ahtrenton.com. Coordinador: P. René Pulgarín, 609.924.1743 ext. 110 Iglesia San Pablo, Princeton.
Engaged Encounter
2009 Dates:
January 9-11, February 27-March 1, April 3-5, June 5-7, October 30-November 1
Cost: $375 per couple
Overwhelmed by work and wedding planning? Feel like there's no time alone for the two of you to ponder the profound adventure you are setting out on?
Come away beloved…
Catholic Engaged Encounter is a uniquemarriage preparation retreat designed to set aside a quiet place and a solid block of time for busy couples to put away distractions and communicate honestly and intensively with each other about the important things in life…about
knowing and loving ourselves and our fiancés,
Engaged Encounter weekends are held at Stella Maris Retreat House located on the Atlantic coast in Elberon, New Jersey, which provides a beautiful, prayerful setting to draw close to each other and to God. The Encounter weekend begins on Friday evening at 7:30p.m. and concludes approximately 4 p.m. on Sunday. The cost is $375 per couple, which includes meals and lodging. Reservations are limited. To register online, Click here for a list of events.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice is required for program transfers. A $25 non-refundable processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program or cancelling.
God's Plan for a Joy-filled Marriage
Marriage Preparation Workshop for Engaged Couples – This workshop fulfills the requirement for marriage preparation.
2009 Dates and Locations
Saturdays, 8:30 a.m. - 5:30 p.m.:
January 10, St. Ann Parish, Lawrenceville
May 2, Holy Trinity Parish, Long Branch
August 22, St. John Parish, Lakehurst
December 5, St. Ann Parish, Lawrenceville
Cost: $140 per couple
Please check the diocesan website at www.dioceseoftrenton.org/go/joyfilled for updated information on dates, times, locations, and availability.
God's Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage is a new marriage formation workshop for engaged couples which fulfills the marriage preparation requirement. It offers a more complete understanding of God's glorious plan for marriage and human sexuality than perhaps any program available in the Church today. Based on Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body, this program is intended to enhance a key component of marriage preparation: catechesis in the theology of marriage and the gift of human sexuality. This state of the art approach to marriage preparation is also designed to facilitate the couple's insight and self-awareness, and help develop important relational skills.
The God's Plan program provides a full catechesis of the Church's teaching, in an uplifting manner that resonates within the human heart. Engaged couples will learn how their love mirrors Christ's love for the Church, and how entering into the life-giving love of the Trinity through their marriage will bring them the happiness and fulfillment they desire. For more information, contact Donna Goodwin at 609.406.7400, ext. 5592. The fee for the program is $140 per couple. Click here to register online.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice is required for program transfers. A $25 non-refundable processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program or cancelling.
To Trust Again
Preparation for Remarriage in the Church
2009 Dates and Locations
Saturdays, 9:00 a.m. - 3:30 p.m.
April 18 & October 24
Our Lady of Sorrows-St. Anthony Parish
Cost: $125 per couple
This marriage preparation program is designed to meet the pastoral needs of couples in which one or both persons are marrying after the loss of a spouse through death or divorce. The program addresses specific issues these individuals face as they enter into the new relationship. Couples are invited to explore issues between themselves and within small group settings. The registration fee is $125 per couple. To learn more about the program, contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life, at 609.406.7400, ext. 5592. Click here to register online.
Refund/Transfer policy: 24 hours minimum notice is required for cancellations; two weeks minimum notice is required for program transfers. A $25 non-refundable processing fee will be charged when transferring to a different program or cancelling.
Unitas
Preparing for Sacramental Marriage
Unitas is a form of marriage instruction and preparation that enables the whole ecclesial community to be involved in the preparation for marriage, while providing the intimacy of small Christian community meetings. There are seven sessions and three community rites. Catechetical and Liturgy Planning sessions are provided as needed. Unitas is currently being offered in selected parishes. Contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life, 609.406.7400, ext. 5556 or e-mail phensl@dioceseoftrenton.org.
Natural Family Planning
NFP describes the host of eco-friendly scientific methods of family planning which rely on the natural and observable signs and symptoms of a woman's cycle to determine phases of fertility. NFP is hormone-free and very reliable if the couple uses it unfailingly, and does not require the regularity of the woman's cycle. It is morally acceptable as a method for planning and spacing children in Catholic marriages. Additionally, NFP can be instrumental in assisting infertile couples to achieve a pregnancy. Since decisions concerning the family involve both husband and wife, we invite couples to take joint responsibility in child planning. Successful use of the method requires cooperation and contributes to growth in communication, understanding, and respect in the marriage relationship. To learn more about the various methods of natural family planning or to register for classes, contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life, 609.406.7400, ext. 5556, or e-mail phensl@dioceseoftrenton.org, or visit www.njnfp.org.
Couple to Couple League/Sympto-Thermal Method
The Sympto-Thermal method of natural family planning (NFP) is an educational program based on scientific knowledge on how to plan or postpone a pregnancy. Couples participate in four classes. Each class is spaced five weeks apart to allow the couple to go through several of the woman's menstrual cycles while learning the method. Classes are taught by married couples who are trained and certified by the Couple to Couple League (CCL). To learn more about the Couple to Couple League's approach to NFP, visit their website at www.ccli.org. To register for Couple to Couple League classes for the Sympto-Thermal Method of NFP, please contact the Office of Family Life/Respect Life at 609.406.7400, ext. 5592.
Creighton Model Method
Creighton model is highly effective in both its method and use as a way to achieve or postpone pregnancy. This method of natural family planning is recognized by the Pope Paul VI Institute for the Study of Human Reproduction. It is a system which enables husbands and wives to be active participants in the monitoring and maintaining of their own procreative health and fertility planning.
Classes in the Creighton model of NFP are offered on a regular basis in the Trenton Diocese by certified Fertility Care System practitioners. These practitioners are also versed in Napro
Technology (Natural Procreative Technology) to provide married couples with Church approved alternatives for common fertility problems. To learn more about the Creighton method and Napro Technology, and register for NFP classes, contact Mary McMenaman at 732.449.9177, or Josi Shimkus at 732.361.7345.
"Two shall become one...Exploring God's Sacred Gift of Fertility"
Information Evenings for Fertility Planning
2009 Dates
Thursday, February 12, St. David the King Parish, West Windsor
Thursday, May 14, St. Justin Parish, Tom's River
Tuesday, September 22, Holy Cross Parish, Rumson
Thursday, November 19, St. Mary of the Lakes School, Medford
At the dawn of creation, God bestowed the original blessing of fertility on humankind: "Be fruitful and multiply". Information Evenings for Fertility Planning are designed to reveal the sacred mysteries of God's gift of fertility. Through a positive, holistic approach, couples will explore the spiritual, psychological, emotional and biological dynamics of married sexuality and co-creation. These sessions are open to all but are especially recommended for engaged and young married couples, and will provide "need to know" information about women's fertility cycles, the husband's role in fertility planning, the truth and beauty of God's plan for human sexuality, and the miracle of procreation.
Each session also includes an introduction to the Creighton Model FertilityCare System and NaproTechnology. This system is based on solid scientific research that teaches the couple to observe and track natural biomarkers that allow them to know when they are fertile and when they are not. NaproTechnology also helps identify and treat infertility, PMS, miscarriage, ovarian cysts, and other problems.
The information evenings are presented by practitioners with special training in the FertilityCare System and diocesan professionals. To register, contact Donna Goodwin at 609.406.7400, ext. 5592 or dgoodw@dioceseoftrenton.org, or click here to download a registration form or register online. The evening sessions are free and pre-registration is required.
Enrichment for Married Couples
Marriage Encounter
Marriage Encounter is a weekend enrichment program designed to help build communication skills between husband and wife. A series of presentations given by married couples and a priest provides meaningful reflection for couples to refocus on their relationship, with private time for discussion away from the distractions of every day life. For dates, locations and reservations for Marriage Encounter weekends in Central New Jersey, please contact Jack and Annarose Parra at 1.888.827.NJME. For Marriage Encounter weekends in southern New Jersey, contact Bob and Michelle Dooley at 1.800.688.9963. For Hispanic Marriage Encounter Weekends please
contact Raul and Rudy Avila at 609.448.0098.
Bishop's Anniversary Blessing
Mercer and Monmouth Counties
Sunday, April 26, 2009, 3 p.m.
Ocean and Burlington Counties
Sunday, May 17, 2009, 3 p.m.
Held in the Cathedral of St. Mary of the Assumption, Trenton, the Bishop's Anniversary Blessing is an annual para-liturgical celebration to honor married couples in the diocese celebrating their 25th, 50th or over wedding anniversaries during the 2009 calendar year. Bishop Smith confers his Episcopal Blessing upon each couple and presents them with a personalized certificate to commemorate this very special occasion. Registration through your parish is required.
World Marriage Day Brunch
Sunday, February 15, 2009,
12 to 3 p.m.
The Breakers Hotel, Spring Lake
Our diocesan World Marriage Day luncheon will be held at the Breakers Hotel on the ocean in picturesque Spring Lake, and is open to all married couples in the Diocese of Trenton. Since 1982, the Worldwide Marriage Encounter organization has set aside a Sunday each February as a special day to honor husbands and wives. World Marriage Day salutes the beauty of their faithfulness, sacrifice and joy in daily married life. The World Marriage Day luncheon is a gathering of couples from throughout the diocese, to share stories and enjoy presentations about marriage, in an elegant and romantic setting. The cost of the luncheon is $60 per couple. For more information, contact Donna Goodwin at 609.406.7400, ext. 5592. Click here to register online, reservations are limited and must be made in advance!
Marriage Ministry Training
Diocesan Training for Married Pre-Cana Team Couples
2009 Dates
Saturdays - 9 a.m. - 4 p.m.
March 14, St. Robert Bellarmine Parish Center, Freehold
September 12, St. Peter Parish, Point Pleasant Beach
Session I – 9 a.m. - 12 p.m.
Marriage Ministry Formation – Understanding Church Teaching on Marriage
Session II – 1 p.m. - 4 p.m. Training in Before I Do Pre-Cana Model
Diocesan Pre-Cana Training is a comprehensive training for new and experienced Pre-Cana ministry couples, presented in a two-session format. Session I (9 a.m. - 12 p.m.) covers Marriage Ministry Formation and provides team couples with a basic understanding of Church teaching in the areas of marriage and family life. Couples learn key concepts from various Church documents such as Familiaris Consortio, Faithful to Each Other Forever, Catechism onMarriage, and Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body.
Session II (1 p.m. - 4 p.m.) includes specific ways to use the "Before I Do" program. Team couples will learn the latest adult learning techniques and new approaches and formats for presenting Pre-Cana topics. This session includes core requirements for Pre-Cana programs, best practices, Pre-Cana team organization and administration, witness talk content, small group facilitation and more.
All Pre-Cana ministry couples who have not received prior diocesan training are required to attend a complete training session. Couples who have completed prior diocesan training
may wish to attend Session I only. There is no fee to attend but advance registration is required; breakfast and lunch are included for couples who attend both sessions.
Register online today, or call Donna Goodwin at 609.406.7400, ext. 5592.
Contact Us:
Peg Hensler
Coordinator: Marriage and Family Ministries
Phone: 609-406-7400 ext. 5556
E-mail:
phensl@dioceseoftrenton.org
Office of Family Life/Respect Life
Diocesan Pastoral Center
PO Box 5147
701 Lawrenceville Road
Trenton, NJ 08638-0147
Phone: 609-406-7400
Fax: 609-406-7403
E-mail: family@dioceseoftrenton.org
Director: Linda Richardson
The following timeline is useful to help simplify the details involved in the year-long marriage preparation process. To ensure that each couple married in the Catholic Church receives proper preparation for their future life together, all parishes in the State of New Jersey follow the Pastoral Policies and Guidelines for Marriage Preparation for the Catholic Church in New Jersey.
