Following are some rules of thumb for the most common issues that parents face in raising children:
1. Balancing children's needs vs spouse's needs
It's normal and necessary for parents to respond to their children's urgent physical, emotional, and educational needs. This usually takes more hours of the day than time devoted to relating to your spouse. To keep your spouse a priority, however, family life educators recommend
daily affirmations (words, hugs, kisses)
a weekly date
an annual get-away (without the children).Some of these require getting a baby sitter (or having family or generous friends) but think of the cost as marriage insurance.
2. Dealing with worries about children
Worrying and fretting about your children come with the job and can prompt needed action. Some parents, however, "over worry" and become "helicopter parents," hovering over their children. Remember, you are responsible for the process you use in raising your children- not the outcome. When all else fails (and hopefully before) turn it over to God.
3. Disciplining children
Even parents who have read all the books about childrearing, attend lectures, and love their children with all their hearts will at times differ on how to discipline their children in a specific instance. Ideally, parents will agree beforehand on standard consequences for misbehavior, but when one parent gives a discipline that the other thinks is inappropriate (too harsh or too lenient) it's best for the second parent not to contradict the first. Mother and father should then discuss their differences privately. If the first parent agrees to change, that parent then goes back to the child and informs him or her of the change.
All reputable family life professionals agree that corporal punishment (spanking, hitting, etc.) is no longer acceptable as a way to discipline children. Society has learned better, safer, and more effective ways to discipline. Take a parenting class if you need help.
4. How much money does it take to raise a child?
More than you thought but less than stores would have you believe. Children can thrive without the latest fads, technology, and baby paraphernalia. Go for sturdy, safe, creative child purchases. Children need your presence more than your presents.
5. Balancing work and family
Although responsible parents obviously need an income, how much is enough? Once you've met the basic family needs, often your child will benefit from your presence at home even if it means cutting back on work hours or taking a less stressful job. If you're missing more family dinners than you make in a week, that can be a warning sign to readjust your schedule and priorities.
[Courtesy of www.foryourmarriage.org, (c) 2008, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops]
Contact Us:
Office of Family Life/Respect Life
Diocesan Pastoral Center
PO Box 5147
701 Lawrenceville Road
Trenton, NJ 08638-0147 Phone: 609-406-7400 ext. 5558 Fax: 609-406-7403
E-mail: family@dioceseoftrenton.org
Director: Linda Richardson
